Published on April 10, 2014, at 4:08 p.m. ET

At first, Ebony woman Travel is apparently like most other american travel that is international, just one single that caters solely to black colored females. But buried toward the base of its About Us page is just a fuzzy youtube video that suggests a wider issue.

The movie is really a protection of this company — fond of “haters” that have criticized Ebony woman Travel for encouraging women that are black date guys far away.

“the center of that which we do is mostly about empowering women that are african-American options, ” states Fleace Weaver, creator of Ebony woman Travel, into the clip. “we have actually done lots of research and chatted to many ladies in this country, and the things I’m hearing is: you cannot find times, you cannot find mates, you cannot find husbands. “

Weaver, a statuesque black girl flanked by two elegant workers on either part, is all long lithe limbs and wavy minder locks. Her existence, inspite of the video that is poor, commands the display screen.

“And I sort of seriously considered, like, well exactly why is that? So when we started conversing with women it is like, they truly are just dating black colored dudes. Do not shoot me personally! ” she exclaims, pushing her fingers to her chest, then tossing them away in a shrug. “It really is the reality. That is what’s taking place. “

She cites her research, 2008 census information that suggests that even in the event every man that is black to partner with a black colored girl, there would nevertheless be 1.5 million black colored ladies left mate-less.

“this is exactly why we created BlackGirlTravel. To make you begin considering dating interracially, ” Weaver claims warmly. “there is a large number of amazing guys available to you, yes, you understand you want a cousin. That is exactly what you would like, appropriate? And that is okay. But we realize it is simply maybe maybe not adequate to go around! ” Weaver’s staff laughs along side her.

“that which you gotta do is start your brain. “

Weaver’s one of many in her exhortation to black women that are american. The concept that people should travel abroad — specially to Europe — to get love has a property in online conversation groups, travel internet sites, blog sites, and Twitter pages, each of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to “swirl, ” i.e., date non-black males (the word was created to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).

Though they differ in tone — most are celebratory, extolling the joys of finding “Swirling triumph in Sweden” although some are bear hard-nosed communications like “The Dating Truth for Ebony ladies: visit European countries plus don’t Look straight straight straight Back” — every web web web site insists that black colored ladies in America are better off searching for love an additional nation.

We first arrived throughout the encouragements to visit European countries and “swirl” whenever I had been a junior in college getting ready to learn abroad in Sweden. Though we cringe to admit it now, I happened to be excited by the possibility for a semester invested flirting with Swedes. As being a painfully self-conscious woman that is biracial I experienced struggled up to now at an Ivy League college, and learning abroad had been just as much a getaway because it ended up being a required educational undertaking for a global relations major. But i will be additionally an eu resident, created in Hungary up to A hungarian mom and Nigerian daddy, and my optimism had been tempered by the reality of my experiences residing and traveling in Europe, experiences that taught me personally I became both Other and item. As far as I wished to have confidence in web sites that told me differently — that men across the pond had been simply looking forward to my arrival — I felt like In addition knew better.

And even though these websites state they intend to reveal black colored ladies to a world of opportunities, the “possibilities” appear to predominantly feature black colored females with white men — a move that, intentionally or otherwise not, gifts interracial dating as aspirational. Kim Butler, an information editor from Ca whom relocated to Germany last year, forced right right straight back in the argument that European countries is an answer to black colored female singlehood on the weblog year that is last. I was told by her she actually is noticed most of the pro-”swirl” internet sites be seemingly pushing one message: “What is right is white. ” But Butler states there is certainly a lot more of a discussion to be enjoyed. “Are we likely to begin speaing frankly about a few of the dilemmas taking place in the usa, why there is not too numerous black colored feminine couplings. Or are we simply planning to say, ‘Screw it! We are going to simply head to Europe and discover a white man. ‘”

“that is not what we’re saying, ” Weaver explained via Skype from Rome. She is an old l. A. Socialite whom went an once-popular site for affluent African-American Angelenos: blackweekly. “We state, ‘Date all males. ‘”

And her statement ended up being pretty much duplicated by almost every among the females we interviewed whom advocate that black colored ladies date interracially and internationally. A few included that they tell ladies to “select character over color. ” But it is tough to scroll through photo after picture of beaming-black-woman-with-smiling-white-man and perhaps not believe that interracial relationships are increasingly being idealized, as opposed to just celebrated, an event discomfiting enough so it has in certain cases made me concern personal relationship having a white guy.

“When those pictures are posted and after they’re permeating culture, then a specific type of photo is presented and strengthened about who black colored ladies must certanly be with, ” Tiya Miles said within the phone.